Sick Dreams

-- An excerpt from my time before I traveled to the hospital --

I hate being sick.

I have spent several hours today just rolling around on my bed in agony as my skin felt as though it was on fire.

It has not been a fun day.

I also tend to have really loopy dreams while I’m sick. I’m blaming the fever.

The whole thing started on top of a skyscraper.

The night air was full of stars and the view from where I lay was amazing.

I love it when my dreams are beautiful.

I was watching myself from a movie perspective or 3^rd person view if you want to think video games.

I slowly got up in a dramatic sweeping motion of my legs only to find a dark hooded figure standing across the building from me. Though I must have sensed her beforehand as I still looked cool and collected.

I could just make out a smile under the hood of my visitor when she dashed towards me. She moved with super human speed and drew from her cloak a sickly looking curved blade, poised for my throat.

Clearly she was evil.

I drew out my sword in turn, which I am fairly certain was not around a moment before, and readied myself for the impending strike.

Clash.

Our blades met in a rain of sparks as fire jumped from the striking metal. The blades danced around us as we struck at one another blow after blow, parry after parry, we were quite good.

Then with a sweeping motion and powerful expulsion technique my sword was forcibly sent flying across and over the buildings edge; falling to the clouds below.

 In shock I had left myself open and received a solid front kick, Spartan style, throwing me to the ground. I was not even able to get up onto my elbows before my opponents cloak was around me, blade poised inches from my certain death.

 Then I saw a face, a sad face, twisted with the joys of victory over me. I knew her, or I knew I was looking for her. This girl was important for some reason; all the tension of the fight left my body as I looked up into her eyes.

Then she kissed me.

My dreams are weird. 

With that she withdrew her sword and ran to the ledge of the building and jumped off. But I knew she would be fine, just one of those dream understandings.

In my dreams it is common for my location to switch randomly, like a new scene in a movie.

I found myself in a solid white room with walls as far off as the eye could see, but still giving off a feeling of being inside. The floor was also sand, like the beach, even though there was no water. Everything was very illuminated, as though the white walls glowed with an uncanny light.

I immediately sat down to make a sand castle in the sand, which was the perfect consistency for the task. A montage of my exploits flashing before my eyes as I build an entire kingdom out of sand.

And when I was done I sat atop my sand throne, with a sand crown.

Dozens of people milled about the castle below me; going about a daily life in this giant sand castle. Times were good, food was cheap and peace was achieved.

But not for long.

The lights of the white walls dimmed around us, casting shadows the likes of which had never been seen in this sand world.

Then, without warning, a giant sand squid, which is just like a normal giant squid only it lives in the sand, emerged from the depths of the world and besieged the castle. 

The sand was not strong enough to stand up against the terrible might of the giant squid and the main gate fell to its tentacle based destruction.

This revealed its army of smaller, but still quite large, squids. They flooded into the castle like a wave from the ocean and crashed into my awaiting soldiers.

Though our arrows were accurate, our swords sharp, and our skills sharper still, we stood no chance. They outnumbered us one hundred to one.

Countless squids fell before us only to have more arrive and take the place of the fallen. Slowly the squids pushed forward eating my forces and growing fat off of their victories.

I could watch no more from the limited safety of my tower; I had to join my soldiers. But I would need help; I would need a grand weapon.

I ascended the stairs of my tower to the top most room, well locked, and protected from unwanted eyes.

Inside lay my battle gear, the treasures of my kingdom.

My belts.

I quickly put them on and felt the powers grow within me.

But would it be enough?

I teleported to the battle below in a bolt of lightning, cutting a hole in the enemies advancing line.

I could not be defeated. Lightning spurt from my fingertips to strike down my squid like foes.

I would turn the tide of this battle.

Then I saw her.

There she was, the girl, running across the battered remains of the upper rampart charging the main squid. Smaller squids falling around her as she carved a bath to the squid. I wanted to help her but the ground forces around me were in my way and had to be dealt with first.

I should have just gone after the giant squid.

Somehow I heard the clang of metal amidst the roar of the battle around me and my attention was drawn center stage to the girl and the giant squid once again. He had managed to disarm her and trap her in the coils of one of his giant arms.

He heaved her up over his beak of a jaw. I threw everything that I had into making a path to her, but it was too late.

I watched in horror as she fell in.

Then I woke up. Just like that back to my bed, my sheets thrown all over the place; a fever of 103.2 crawling through my body.

I wonder who that girl is supposed to be.

I hope I meet her some day.

I love You

I felt bad about not doing anything for valentines day so I wrote this little poem for it.
Happy belated valentines day everyone.

Verstehen

Ello everyone. 

I’m sorry about how late this post is. For those of you who see those little comments I put up on facebook I mentioned that I had been in the hospital the greater part of last week. This is very true and it has really hurt my schedule. I don’t even want to think about how many due dates got shot in the face with this untimely IV filled segment of my life, but my blog post for this week was a part of it.

I have been trying to grope at a story to tell you all since I got released from the hospital only so many hours ago, but nothing is sounding good as I write it. Sure the actual visit is a story in and of itself, but I want it to be written well. Everything I’ve been writing just comes out as garbage right now.

So I’ve decided to write to you all about what is on my mind; not to force the pen, instead let my ideas flow out free form.

This trip to the hospital has been a nightmare. I have not been able to walk since last Tuesday morning; almost a week ago. Let me say walking is a very big part of my life. Moving in general is a huge part of my life. Being forced not to move, and then having my arms pinned down by IV’s has been my own personal hell. Severe pain, numerous drugs and really bad television; I’ve had a bad week.

But this week has forced me to think about a lot of things. Who I am, why I do the things I do, where I am in my life, and I’m not going to lie I did not like what I was concluding.

I’m a grumpy person. Plain and simple. The hospital sure was not helping but it’s a common truth about myself.

I am not happy with anything!

I could rule the world I would just ask for the moon.

Avarice is my greatest sin.

It is not that I lack appreciation, or a goal. I am just never content with an end. That is probably why I have so many stories in the first place. I just never stop. My story ends? I jump into a new one the next second.

I love my adventurous life do not get me wrong, I do choose this.

The error I see is that I never really enjoy what I have accomplished. I accept it is a good thing, put it on a shelf and run on. Never taking a break.

This hospital break is connected to that. I broke down. Now for near a week I’ve been unable to move and it has been miserable!

I just think it’s time for a change of perspective.

The word “Verstehen” comes to mind. It’s a German word and it means to put oneself in another’s shoes; loosely.

I think that is what I am aiming for with this blog of mine, and why I enjoy all of you reading my works so much. I want all of your responses to help show me different perspectives on things and help get me out of this funk I’m just rolling around in.

You know that makes a lot of sense…

But knowing my luck this post will just get lost in a sea of my other posts…

Maybe I’ll make a page for it or something.

Regardless thank you everyone for reading and commenting and helping me out.

It means a lot to me and I promise to keep at it.

Would you like some cockroach-coffee?

My step father is a contractor.

When I was younger and more readily at the same home he was I tagged along on a few of his building escapades for the fun, experience, and a bit of money to fill my pockets.

(Which at the time was simply amazing with my annual income of 0$)

One such adventure involved a coffee shop.

We strolled on in like the bad-asses we were; I even wore my flannel shirt for the occasion.

There was a problem only the likes of us manly men could fix,

Or so I gathered from the preceding conversation between my stepfather and the, what seemed to be, manager of this coffee selling establishment.

It was the counter top in the back, I didn’t even need to be told so, a cursory glance across the room told me in an instant.

I honed in on my target like a bee to a flower, stinger posed, and by that I mean hammer.

The wood was trashed, water damage from a damaged pipe long left unattended.

“Who knew that water could do so much damage?”

I will never understand why this man was in charge of a store.

My step father gave the sign. 

I lifted up the top of the cabinet. What must have been the screws holding it in place screamed trying to fulfill their job till the end, but to no avail. I lifted the top with ease (the top being the counter.)

Darkness swam below me as only a few rays of light pierced into the long unattended cabinet. Wait, swam? This is not a moment of nicely placed personification, it literally swam. My mind slowly clicked all the information into place just as the first one came into solitary view; cockroaches.

Dozens of them.

The next hour was one of the worst memories I have. A living nightmare. Cockroaches crawled over me as my stepfather and I valiantly destroyed their home to replace it with a new one.

But wait! there is more, as if cockroaches were not enough. That old cabinet was so destroyed that the screws had rusted, leaving deadly barbs of what surly must lead to tetanus sticking out all over the place on every board.

I had to let the cockroaches crawl over me as I moved the planks of old deadly wood, for the alternate fate of dropping them and stabbing myself was far worse.

I don’t remember where that fleece shirt went,

But I half suspect I burned it.