Saturday, April 16, 2011

There Will be Blood, Velociraptors and Icees.

Back in High school I had a duo of friends that I used to walk over and get Icees with from a local shopping center. This was the most average teenage thing I ever did.
I would walk there with my two friends Lin and Samara

Yeah, just me and some girls. That’s how I roll.

Now it is important to note that Lin was secretly a velociraptor.

and Samara was secretly a potato.

I mean clearly she was not really a potato, but for all intensive purposes she was a potato and had to come to terms with that. There were many long days where Samara would try and deny her potato-ness. I felt for her, I understood how hard it could be to try and deny something so key to who you are. But in time she would come to accept her heritage.

I know what you are thinking, I do have the most awesome friends.

So on one of our many “Icee runs” as we walked along dropping lines from There will be blood” about milkshakes and how good Paul Dano was in that movie –

We had to cross the street.

Now a car was coming from far up on the hill. Lin however was quite sure we could make it if we just moved with a bit of vigor in our steps.
All in raptanese of course; the native language of the raptors. fortunately Samara and I were both fluent in raptanese and so completely understood what she was trying to say.
So we ran across the street.
At which point what does the car up on the hill do? Speed up.

We bolted across the street, the car missing us by a lot less then I would have liked.  I also remember some gargled outrage emitting from the passing car, as it tried to kill us, I can only assume upset at its failed murder attempt. Maybe the man in that car just really had a thing against velociraptors? Or maybe potatos?
We never did find out, but we sure as hell never crossed the street again if we could even see a car.
On the plus side, the Icee was delicious.


1337% said...

haha, anything with raptors is keen by me. keep em comin!


Mr. Joshua said...

I'm so glad you liked the post! Raptors are indeed fun.

thank you thank you!

Anonymous said...

I probably would have slurped the icee quickly and throw the container at the car... but then again, I think that will be forever my idea...